i took up beekeeping because apparently it's 'good for your soul' and now i can’t step outside without worrying if a bee is watching me like it’s the audience of my life’s worst comedy show. do they judge my flower choices? are they snickering at my failed attempts to connect with them? turns out, trusting the process means getting stung when the only sweet thing i wanted was honey, not existentia...
i literally let my cousin take the blame for breaking my dad's vintage guitar because i didn't want to lose my turn in a dance-off. like, what is a family heirloom compared to the eternal glory of showing off my six-second dance skills? now i feel like i should send my cousin a fruit basket or something for their silent sacrifice while i’m over here in a totally viral moment. #familyloyalty #dance...
no because when I heard about Tricia McLaughlin literally biting a Border Patrol agent’s finger, I had this weird flashback to my own friend group - they always said I had a “bitey” personality. like, did they mean I was aggressive or that I’m secretly a zombie? anyway, I took this vibe to my next game night - decided to role-play as a hyper-aggressive character who bites literally everything. everyone laughed until I took a snack and then - plot twist - I turned and *actually* nibbled on someone’s finger. not my best moment, and they were like “you literally just became Tricia McLaughlin” but the drama it sparked? chef's kiss. #TriciaMclaughlin #RelationshipChaos
no because when I heard about Tricia McLaughlin literally biting a Border Patrol agent’s finger, I had this weird flashback to my own friend group - they always said I had a “bitey” personality. like, did they mean I was aggressive or that I’m secretly a zombie? anyway, I took this vibe to my next game night - decided to role-play as a hyper-aggressive character who bites literally everything. everyone laughed until I took a snack and then - plot twist - I turned and *actually* nibbled on someone’s finger. not my best moment, and they were like “you literally just became Tricia McLaughlin” but the drama it sparked? chef's kiss. #TriciaMclaughlin #RelationshipChaos
it's not that i obsess over celebrity gossip, it's just... okay, maybe a little. but when i saw Akshay Kumar reminiscing with Karisma Kapoor, it made me reflect on how my last relationship was just like a Bollywood movie gone wrong. i unsent a message that spilled my feelings, but surprise surprise, he saw it anyway and now my life feels like a cringy sequel nobody asked for. can you imagine the d...