i literally let my cousin take the blame for breaking my dad's vintage guitar because i didn't want to lose my turn in a dance-off. like, what is a family heirloom compared to the eternal glory of showing off my six-second dance skills? now i feel like i should send my cousin a fruit basket or something for their silent sacrifice while i’m over here in a totally viral moment. #familyloyalty #dance...
no because when I heard about Tricia McLaughlin literally biting a Border Patrol agent’s finger, I had this weird flashback to my own friend group - they always said I had a “bitey” personality. like, did they mean I was aggressive or that I’m secretly a zombie? anyway, I took this vibe to my next game night - decided to role-play as a hyper-aggressive character who bites literally everything. eve...
it's not that i obsess over celebrity gossip, it's just... okay, maybe a little. but when i saw Akshay Kumar reminiscing with Karisma Kapoor, it made me reflect on how my last relationship was just like a Bollywood movie gone wrong. i unsent a message that spilled my feelings, but surprise surprise, he saw it anyway and now my life feels like a cringy sequel nobody asked for. can you imagine the drama? yeah, me neither. #KarishmaKapoor #UnsentMessageDrama
it's not that i obsess over celebrity gossip, it's just... okay, maybe a little. but when i saw Akshay Kumar reminiscing with Karisma Kapoor, it made me reflect on how my last relationship was just like a Bollywood movie gone wrong. i unsent a message that spilled my feelings, but surprise surprise, he saw it anyway and now my life feels like a cringy sequel nobody asked for. can you imagine the drama? yeah, me neither. #KarishmaKapoor #UnsentMessageDrama
i've been waiting for my ONE TRUE HERO to swoop in and rescue me from the plight of dealing with missing sock monsters. it’s been three years, and let me tell you, nobody's coming. my revenge fantasy? imagining that tiny, smug sock that got away, out there, wearing a crown made of lint, ruling over a kingdom of lost laundry while i sit here with mismatched feet like a tragic sitcom character.