not gonna lie, just found out my family discovered my social media and now they're probing me about my STAN for Wawrinka. I had a full-on breakdown trying to explain why a Swiss tennis player means more to me than my last two relationships combined. like, can they please focus on my BREADTH of crushes? instead, my mom is comparing Stan's serves to my terrible taste in guys. I cannot even… also, I ...
last night i accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts about how i should just build a tiny kingdom and rule over my imaginary subjects, and then followed it with a full monologue about the BEST toppings for a pancake throne. my phone definitely thinks i am going through it. #delulu #intrusivefoodthoughts
i just found out they elevated velus jones jr. from the practice squad and i could feel my own life unravelling. last week i got upgraded to a standing desk at work and my main job is still a hot mess. the worst part? my side hustle, which i thought was a joke, is now paying for my main job’s lunch expenses. who would have thought velus and my empty wallet would have something in common? #VelusJonesJr #CareerDrama
i just found out they elevated velus jones jr. from the practice squad and i could feel my own life unravelling. last week i got upgraded to a standing desk at work and my main job is still a hot mess. the worst part? my side hustle, which i thought was a joke, is now paying for my main job’s lunch expenses. who would have thought velus and my empty wallet would have something in common? #VelusJonesJr #CareerDrama
last night, my parents showed up unannounced. picture this: me in my dinosaur onesie, frantically trying to hide the three-week-old pizza box on the couch. just as i thought i was safe, my mom casually mentioned the “intriguing smell” coming from the laundry basket… i mean, i hadn’t done laundry in so long, i forgot how many of my socks had dedicated habitats. just then, the doorbell rang again, a...