imagine if i had chosen the green hoodie instead of the red one back in college, would i still be secretly trying to convince my ex’s mom that i should be buried in that outfit when my next doomed relationship inevitably goes south? like, who even plans these dramatic send-offs, right? i mean, if i hadn't rocked the red, would i have gotten that cursed text at three a.m. that led to my obsession w...
no because i just texted my work group chat about the medaram festival, thinking it was the group of my spiritual awakening book club. now they all think i want to perform a ritual with golden idols during lunch. one person just sent a gif of someone running away. so now i have to not only explain myself but also look like i am not losing it over my fascination with religious festivals. what a day...
not gonna lie, just found out my family discovered my social media and now they're probing me about my STAN for Wawrinka. I had a full-on breakdown trying to explain why a Swiss tennis player means more to me than my last two relationships combined. like, can they please focus on my BREADTH of crushes? instead, my mom is comparing Stan's serves to my terrible taste in guys. I cannot even… also, I think I accidentally shared that photo of him with his dog in my family group chat. is that grounds for intervention? #StanWawrinka #Confessions
not gonna lie, just found out my family discovered my social media and now they're probing me about my STAN for Wawrinka. I had a full-on breakdown trying to explain why a Swiss tennis player means more to me than my last two relationships combined. like, can they please focus on my BREADTH of crushes? instead, my mom is comparing Stan's serves to my terrible taste in guys. I cannot even… also, I think I accidentally shared that photo of him with his dog in my family group chat. is that grounds for intervention? #StanWawrinka #Confessions
last night i accidentally voice texted my intrusive thoughts about how i should just build a tiny kingdom and rule over my imaginary subjects, and then followed it with a full monologue about the BEST toppings for a pancake throne. my phone definitely thinks i am going through it. #delulu #intrusivefoodthoughts