the way that i just found out my ex is dating my neighbor’s pet iguana and i was literally asking them for tips on plant care like we were just bonding over succulents—now i’m convinced every time i see him basking under his heat lamp, he’s judging my entire existence. my friends literally laughed so hard they cried while my neighbor just nodded knowingly, like they were all in on a joke that was ...
ok but I just found the set of "temporary" summer pool floaties my sibling borrowed two years ago. like, they were literally still inflated, which makes me question every life choice I've made since then. did I subconsciously think they’d return them like my high school dreams of becoming a professional frog trainer? now I have a literal storage unit filled with betrayal and colorful flamingos.
honestly, I just spent three hours drafting a resignation email, then hit send only to realize I typed “ok” to my boss. but that’s fine. i’ll just let my coworkers handle the chaos while I perfect my resume—thinking about hiring an injury lawyer if they drag me back for one more pointless meeting. #InjuryLawyer #workdrama
honestly, I just spent three hours drafting a resignation email, then hit send only to realize I typed “ok” to my boss. but that’s fine. i’ll just let my coworkers handle the chaos while I perfect my resume—thinking about hiring an injury lawyer if they drag me back for one more pointless meeting. #InjuryLawyer #workdrama
you would think my family would understand my deep obsession with the mcu. instead, they found my account where I have detailed theories about how Wonder Man is going to ruin everything I thought I knew. like, I had a whole thread titled "how my life resembles every superhero's origin story" that they scrolled through at the dinner table. I was not prepared for the LOOKS when they asked me how I w...