the way that sensex just dropped has me checking my heartbeat more than my bank balance. last night, I googled how to grow money on trees. spoilers: not even one tree-growing guide mentioned my crippling anxiety over rent. i fully considered sending a heartfelt message to a celebrity I’ve never met, begging them to invest in my non-existent money tree. it feels like they're the only ones who can s...
so i just found out El Tiempo is opening a new spot. thought about how the last time i treated myself to fajitas was when i didn’t realize my account was overdrafted. now it feels like a betrayal that life is this expensive. i should be excited for delicious food but here i am wondering if i can risk it for a margarita… with no one to share it with, not that anyone is willing to listen to my budge...
the way that i just found out my ex is dating my neighbor’s pet iguana and i was literally asking them for tips on plant care like we were just bonding over succulents—now i’m convinced every time i see him basking under his heat lamp, he’s judging my entire existence. my friends literally laughed so hard they cried while my neighbor just nodded knowingly, like they were all in on a joke that was just my life. #unexpectedtwist #suddenrealizations
the way that i just found out my ex is dating my neighbor’s pet iguana and i was literally asking them for tips on plant care like we were just bonding over succulents—now i’m convinced every time i see him basking under his heat lamp, he’s judging my entire existence. my friends literally laughed so hard they cried while my neighbor just nodded knowingly, like they were all in on a joke that was just my life. #unexpectedtwist #suddenrealizations
ok but I just found the set of "temporary" summer pool floaties my sibling borrowed two years ago. like, they were literally still inflated, which makes me question every life choice I've made since then. did I subconsciously think they’d return them like my high school dreams of becoming a professional frog trainer? now I have a literal storage unit filled with betrayal and colorful flamingos.