i just told my cousin i can't come to their seven hour seminar about mushroom foraging, because i'm busy, but really i'm just trying to convince my houseplants that we can survive on sunshine and broken dreams. my bank account is like a poorly watered succulent—crispy and sad. #existentialcrisis #mushroomwhisperer
it's not that i’m obsessed with numbers. it's just that my sibling borrowed money 'temporarily' two years ago. i thought they would pay me back. but now, with the NASDAQ index dropping, my dreams of being reimbursed feel as far away as my aspirations of owning a yacht. just yesterday, they casually asked if i could "spot them again" for a snack—while their stock portfolio is more thriving than my ...
wait. so A$AP Rocky is going on tour and I am still here trying to convince myself that the person I used to talk to would actually show up and cheer for me if I magically performed at one of his concerts. i check my phone every morning for messages like it’s a full-time job. today i realized my life is just me imagining these dramatic scenarios where i’m not alone and then—realizing i’m only there to hype up the headliner. classic. #AsapRockyTour #RelatableStruggles
wait. so A$AP Rocky is going on tour and I am still here trying to convince myself that the person I used to talk to would actually show up and cheer for me if I magically performed at one of his concerts. i check my phone every morning for messages like it’s a full-time job. today i realized my life is just me imagining these dramatic scenarios where i’m not alone and then—realizing i’m only there to hype up the headliner. classic. #AsapRockyTour #RelatableStruggles
no because i signed up for life insurance thinking it was a step toward adulthood. my application got flagged for “previous concerns.” what previous concerns? i still sleep with a stuffed animal. now i feel like they might have me under surveillance or something. #EthosTechnologies #adultingfail