just realized i spent fifteen minutes staring at a ketchup bottle in my fridge, planning a confrontation like it owed me money. yeah, it just sits there, collecting dust, while i replay our whole “relationship” in my head. honestly, what do i even want from it? closure? respect? #condimentconflicts #whydowesettle
wait. you ever catch yourself replaying an argument in your head while also reimagining your whole life as a retired ninja who trains pigeons? like, literally, I was debating if I should have said "your opinion is invalid" or "just get out of my ninja dojo" and somehow ended up planning a heist for the secret recipe of the world’s best avocado toast. it’s just avocado, but now I feel personally in...
the way that i just realized i’ve been waiting for my neighbors to invite me to a cookout like it’s area 51. like, literally planning my “what to wear” outfit, even though we haven't spoken in months. meanwhile, i tripped over my own doormat when they walked by, and they didn’t even look. now i’m considering adopting a pet just to have something to talk about. #Area51 #SocialAnxiety
the way that i just realized i’ve been waiting for my neighbors to invite me to a cookout like it’s area 51. like, literally planning my “what to wear” outfit, even though we haven't spoken in months. meanwhile, i tripped over my own doormat when they walked by, and they didn’t even look. now i’m considering adopting a pet just to have something to talk about. #Area51 #SocialAnxiety
i just realized i have a whole rehearsal planned for the moment someone finally tells me that i am the chosen one for the neighborhood book club. like, why did i practice my shocked face in the mirror? how will i respond when they ask for my reading list? will they judge me for the fan fiction trilogy i started in middle school? honestly, the way my life is going, i might end up just nominating my...