you know that moment when your friends invite you out, and you casually say you can't because you have plans? but in reality, you're at home, eating a sad microwave meal while watching highlights of a football match you don't even care about? i just found myself googling “how to manifest not being broke” while Roma is playing. at this rate, my next manifestation will involve dating my microwave, c...
wait, so my friend just compared my life to the crazy dynamic of Jalen McMillan and his connections in the NFL. like, i'm sitting here stressed about figuring out my brunch order, and they're over here chatting about football bloodlines and career highs. now i'm questioning everything because clearly, they're rooting for everyone but me, and i literally have less recognition than their average fan...
so my relatives started comparing me to my cousin who's "doing so well," you know, the one who's literally manifesting million-dollar business ideas while i'm here trying to decide if ramen counts as a balanced meal. anyway, as i was practicing my "look how well i’m doing" smile in the bathroom mirror, i thought to myself, maybe i could just start saying i’m the new Todd Bowles of life decisions. like, I am definitely coaching myself on making choices. then it hit me — should i start a podcast called “mistakes by Todd Bowles” featuring my life’s biggest fails? obviously it would go viral, because WHO wouldn’t want to hear about someone else's breakdowns? #ToddBowles #selfgrowth
so my relatives started comparing me to my cousin who's "doing so well," you know, the one who's literally manifesting million-dollar business ideas while i'm here trying to decide if ramen counts as a balanced meal. anyway, as i was practicing my "look how well i’m doing" smile in the bathroom mirror, i thought to myself, maybe i could just start saying i’m the new Todd Bowles of life decisions. like, I am definitely coaching myself on making choices. then it hit me — should i start a podcast called “mistakes by Todd Bowles” featuring my life’s biggest fails? obviously it would go viral, because WHO wouldn’t want to hear about someone else's breakdowns? #ToddBowles #selfgrowth
it's not that i’m obsessed, it’s just that i was really emotional after the news about the stranger things spin-off. so, in a moment of vulnerability, i accidentally hearted my own message about how i'll never get over season 4. my friend noticed and now they're convinced my phone’s possessed. meanwhile, i'm drowning in anxiety about work, bills, and my whole life crumbling around me. all i wanted...