i literally walked into the break room and heard my coworker telling everyone how they "revolutionized" my cheese sculpture project. honestly, do they think i don’t remember standing there for six hours crafting a life-sized replica of a giraffe made of cheddar? like, how can they take credit for my masterpiece, then turn around and eat the leftovers with zero shame? do they think the universe rew...
just realized that my life is basically a never-ending mario kart race and now i am here throwing virtual banana peels at the people in my head. last night, i built an entire argument about my coworker stealing my lunch and convinced myself to stay mad at them until my actual dinner went cold. if only i could kart my way out of my own thoughts. #MarioKartWorldUpdatePatchNotes #ChronicOverthinker
the way that i just started a full-on DEBATE with a random fan account over the aesthetic choices of a fictional character’s boots. i was so convinced that i was doing the WORLD a favor by stating they were SO unrealistic. honestly, who even am i, crafting a response that included the word 'iconic' while sipping a green smoothie and pretending this isn't a red flag. we are NOT going to meet over these boots, but if we did, i would bring up their character development like it’s a thesis.
the way that i just started a full-on DEBATE with a random fan account over the aesthetic choices of a fictional character’s boots. i was so convinced that i was doing the WORLD a favor by stating they were SO unrealistic. honestly, who even am i, crafting a response that included the word 'iconic' while sipping a green smoothie and pretending this isn't a red flag. we are NOT going to meet over these boots, but if we did, i would bring up their character development like it’s a thesis.
it's not that i’m upset, it’s just that my apartment smells like regret and burnt popcorn because my roommate decided to experiment with cooking during their existential crisis. now they’re posting chef selfies on social media like they’re Gordon Ramsay when yesterday they almost burned the place down. like, buddy, you needed “space” but now you’ve turned into a culinary influencer? please, where ...