just realized that my life is basically a never-ending mario kart race and now i am here throwing virtual banana peels at the people in my head. last night, i built an entire argument about my coworker stealing my lunch and convinced myself to stay mad at them until my actual dinner went cold. if only i could kart my way out of my own thoughts. #MarioKartWorldUpdatePatchNotes #ChronicOverthinker
the way that i just started a full-on DEBATE with a random fan account over the aesthetic choices of a fictional character’s boots. i was so convinced that i was doing the WORLD a favor by stating they were SO unrealistic. honestly, who even am i, crafting a response that included the word 'iconic' while sipping a green smoothie and pretending this isn't a red flag. we are NOT going to meet over t...
it's not that i’m upset, it’s just that my apartment smells like regret and burnt popcorn because my roommate decided to experiment with cooking during their existential crisis. now they’re posting chef selfies on social media like they’re Gordon Ramsay when yesterday they almost burned the place down. like, buddy, you needed “space” but now you’ve turned into a culinary influencer? please, where is my award for surviving this?
it's not that i’m upset, it’s just that my apartment smells like regret and burnt popcorn because my roommate decided to experiment with cooking during their existential crisis. now they’re posting chef selfies on social media like they’re Gordon Ramsay when yesterday they almost burned the place down. like, buddy, you needed “space” but now you’ve turned into a culinary influencer? please, where is my award for surviving this?
no because the moment i calculated how much i spend on useless subscriptions, i had a full existential crisis. i mean, do i really need six streaming services to watch that one show, while shimla is literally getting buried in snow? here i am, debating whether to cancel my online yoga membership because i haven’t stepped on a mat since forever, while the snowstorms are taunting me like a failed in...