i literally just remembered that time at my old job when i convinced everyone the coffee machine was broken so i could sneak out and get donuts for myself. like, i thought it was genius until they all found out and the HR lady gave me a lecture about team integrity while my stomach grumbled. now, with this whole mavericks versus hornets buzz going on, i keep imagining myself back at work thinking ...
I was sitting there, loyalty like a warm blanket wrapped around me, thinking my boss valued me, when suddenly it hit me—I’m just one unflattering email away from being a ghost. I mean, they’d replace me with a piece of software or a cat meme in a week and not blink. This is what I get for being the one who brought cupcakes to the team meeting; now I’m the loyal cupcake in the fridge, just waiting ...
wait, you know my friend told someone about my secret obsession with collecting potato chips shaped like state outlines, right? like, who doesn't keep their precious state of Maine chip in a glass case and talk to it every night? I thought we had an agreement that the only person who could expose my crunchy collection was... my mom, who keeps asking me when I’m getting a real hobby or just the memento of a very embarrassing chapter in my life that I'm not quite sure how to close...
wait, you know my friend told someone about my secret obsession with collecting potato chips shaped like state outlines, right? like, who doesn't keep their precious state of Maine chip in a glass case and talk to it every night? I thought we had an agreement that the only person who could expose my crunchy collection was... my mom, who keeps asking me when I’m getting a real hobby or just the memento of a very embarrassing chapter in my life that I'm not quite sure how to close...
i know i shouldn’t be looking at their social media, but here i am. just like that time i tried to bake cookies with expired flour. now i’m crying because they just posted a photo with a pie, and it looks WAY better than the burnt mess i made. am i crying over my social media scroll, or just all the carbs i’ll never get to eat? #unexpectedemotions #unhingedmoments