last night, i got into a heated debate with a fan account about the best sandwich toppings. as i typed out a genius retort comparing mustard to mediocre personality traits, i realized it’s really just me arguing over condiments while my real-life decisions are mostly unseasoned. #choices #sandwichwars
wait, I just read about the SAP share price dropping like it’s the hottest trend at a talent show. it’s funny because I spent last week teaching myself to cook, right? you’d think I’d have that perfect roast chicken down, but no. I accidentally Googled how to fix bad investments instead of my burning dinner, and now both my dinner and bank account feel like they are in free fall—where’s the bail-o...
i just accidentally liked a photo from almost a year ago. it was of my ex at their dog’s birthday party, with all their friends who look way happier than i’ve been in months. now, while i'm facing a financial crisis like the world has frozen over and looking at the bills piling up, i'm stuck praying they don't think i'm stalking them while i secretly consider adopting a puppy just to feel included. how do i explain this when they inevitably text me? i swear, life's bizarre. #Grips #Oops
i just accidentally liked a photo from almost a year ago. it was of my ex at their dog’s birthday party, with all their friends who look way happier than i’ve been in months. now, while i'm facing a financial crisis like the world has frozen over and looking at the bills piling up, i'm stuck praying they don't think i'm stalking them while i secretly consider adopting a puppy just to feel included. how do i explain this when they inevitably text me? i swear, life's bizarre. #Grips #Oops
not gonna lie, the other day I watched a YouTube video on how to fold a fitted sheet. that moment when you realize adults dont have the slightest clue and just wing it? I started cracking up imagining a board meeting where everyone pretended to know the real answer. meanwhile, I can’t even find my left shoe before an important meeting! I swear my secret financial plan is just buying things on clea...