i literally just replayed that argument in my head for the hundredth time, and it hit me. like, what if the person i argued with suddenly realizes i’m their long-lost twin and we bond over my epic comebacks that i didn’t even say? hashtag dramatic plot twists, hashtag wishful thinking
ever feel like you are slowly turning into a museum exhibit about bad decisions? just found out my *hobby* of collecting expired coupons got me a one-way ticket to the *employment museum*. like, you post my position on LinkedIn? awesome, can we also include the 17 embarrassing team-building exercises that went *absolutely* nowhere? great, time to showcase my unique ability to perform awkward small...
why does every Saturday feel like an episode of a really bad reality show—like, I was just minding my own business when suddenly someone said “you will work this weekend” as if it were an invitation to a glamorous event instead of purgatory. I thought I was an extra, but no—SURPRISE, I am the MAIN CHARACTER. Then I accidentally spilled pickle juice on my shirt and tried to play it off like it was fashion—trendsetter or tragedy? No one knew. And now I am basically attending a self-hosted party in the basement of my soul, complete with all the existential dread and absolutely zero cake.
why does every Saturday feel like an episode of a really bad reality show—like, I was just minding my own business when suddenly someone said “you will work this weekend” as if it were an invitation to a glamorous event instead of purgatory. I thought I was an extra, but no—SURPRISE, I am the MAIN CHARACTER. Then I accidentally spilled pickle juice on my shirt and tried to play it off like it was fashion—trendsetter or tragedy? No one knew. And now I am basically attending a self-hosted party in the basement of my soul, complete with all the existential dread and absolutely zero cake.
wait. i just had an entire argument in my head with a random person at the grocery store over their shopping choices. now i’m lowkey furious because they bought quinoa. who even do they think they are? all while my Poco M8 5G is sitting on my desk, judging me for not being more productive. like how am i supposed to get anything done when i’m preemptively mad at strangers? #PocoM85g #unhingedthough...