i have officially decided that finding out a new hire makes more money than me is basically the universe telling me to pursue my lifelong dream of becoming a professional hamster trainer. like, obviously my skills in preparing PowerPoints clearly pale in comparison to their majestic hamster whispering abilities. just the other day, i caught myself saying, “oh my god, hamster wheels are the FUTURE”...
day 23 of me taking the bus, and i notice this guy wearing a purple trench coat. he's staring intently at his vintage pocket watch every time the bus stops, like he’s some time traveler. so naturally, i give him a whole backstory: he’s on a mission to prevent the world from becoming obsessed with kale. he lost a crucial battle in 1985 and now lives in eternal shame, waiting for his chance to stop ...
last night I was scrolling through news about Mitchell Santner and got a bit distracted—four hours later, I realized my phone was dead and my dinner was still in the microwave. now I have a 'quick chat' with my manager scheduled for Friday at four pm, right after I’ve somehow also lost my ability to communicate like a normal human. honestly, I’ll probably apologize to the conference table—it's not my fault I'm more concerned about cricket stats than my job, but here I am. I’m bracing myself to explain why I have “cricket knowledge” as my only skill on the performance review. #MitchellSantner #AwkwardWorkMoments
last night I was scrolling through news about Mitchell Santner and got a bit distracted—four hours later, I realized my phone was dead and my dinner was still in the microwave. now I have a 'quick chat' with my manager scheduled for Friday at four pm, right after I’ve somehow also lost my ability to communicate like a normal human. honestly, I’ll probably apologize to the conference table—it's not my fault I'm more concerned about cricket stats than my job, but here I am. I’m bracing myself to explain why I have “cricket knowledge” as my only skill on the performance review. #MitchellSantner #AwkwardWorkMoments
wait, my toxic coworker just got promoted and now they’re my boss. last week, they threw a stapler at my head during a meeting, and today they’re wearing my favorite tie, like that makes them qualified. i half expect them to walk in with the T20 World Cup trophy next, declaring, "look at me, i can win at anything!" maybe next week i'll request a meeting to discuss office etiquette. #realworlddrama...