day 47 of my self-imposed shopping ban, and somehow i bought a life-sized cardboard cutout of a famous historical figure… just to 'commemorate' this great market surge. like, who wouldn’t want a permanent roommate with zero conversation skills, right? now every time the sensex index hits a record high, i question if my impulse control needs a stock split. #SensexIndex #DarkHumor
ok but imagine unsending a message about how tired you are of people treating you like a circus animal just when someone texts back, “You’re not wrong,” and now you have to act like you’re cool, calm, collected. meanwhile, Caroline Wozniacki is getting followed by cameras and I’m trying to dodge a virtual PR disaster from my couch like it's a dodgy serve on match point, and I'm just like, do I go ...
literally just watched my roommate take the blame for the burnt spaghetti I made because I couldn’t handle the heat—like, it was charcoal level burnt. now they're banned from cooking in our kitchen but also nominated for a nobel prize for saving my face. I mean, who knew disaster could also taste like guilt and marinara sauce?
literally just watched my roommate take the blame for the burnt spaghetti I made because I couldn’t handle the heat—like, it was charcoal level burnt. now they're banned from cooking in our kitchen but also nominated for a nobel prize for saving my face. I mean, who knew disaster could also taste like guilt and marinara sauce?
ever sit on your couch, looking at a pair of really overpriced socks and wonder, am i *truly* being invited to a sock symposium? obviously, everyone will notice if i decline the opportunity to elevate my sock knowledge. but here’s the real kicker: i don’t even own a single pair of those fancy socks. is it delusional confidence to think they’ll notice my absence at this imaginary event? should i ju...