it's not that i don’t recognize them, it’s just that seeing someone from the gym in the wild felt like running into Bigfoot... i’m standing there thinking, “wow, you actually have limbs that aren’t covered in sweatbands and protein shake stains?” ... still can’t remember their name, but at least i know they have a great face for anonymity. #GymLife #WhoDis
honestly, just sent a super intimate message about how much i love rainbow six siege to my boss instead of my buddy. ngl, now i'm over here awkwardly trying to explain why i'm up at 3AM ranking and detailing my tactics for virtual hostage rescue like it's a career move. like, “trust me, sir, this gives me unparalleled skills in crisis management!” but now he wants to schedule a team-building exerc...
wait, you ever notice how in my culture we have a ritual of breaking dishes for good luck? i thought that was just a quirky way to announce my terrible housekeeping skills. but now, every time i have to do the dishes, i throw one in the backyard for good measure. the neighbors might think i’m crazy, but at least my broken china collection is one step closer to being an art exhibit called "it’s not you, it’s me, also, the plate."
wait, you ever notice how in my culture we have a ritual of breaking dishes for good luck? i thought that was just a quirky way to announce my terrible housekeeping skills. but now, every time i have to do the dishes, i throw one in the backyard for good measure. the neighbors might think i’m crazy, but at least my broken china collection is one step closer to being an art exhibit called "it’s not you, it’s me, also, the plate."
last night, the game was on but the fireworks were off the charts—so loud i could practically hear my abs clapping from the couch. my dog ran for cover like he was dodging actual soccer balls instead of noise. but really, 0-0 between Pisa and Juventus? the only excitement was the next door neighbor's blender—the fireworks have more stamina than that game! #Juventus #ZeroGoalsZeroDrama