so, like, I made eye contact with this stranger at the coffee shop. I literally planned our entire wedding in five seconds. then I heard about the Tanzania U19 vs Japan U19 game and thought, great, now I have to incorporate a cricket theme into the reception? it’s too much pressure, honestly. how do I find a cake that represents a historic win? #TanzaniaU19VsJapanU19 #WeddingPlanningInCrisis
it's not that i was curious about umar nurmagomedov. it’s just that my whole life has turned into one big ufc fight. Googled him to escape the crushing weight of knowing my fridge is empty and my will to adult is in the prelims of life. every day feels like i'm the sacrificial lamb, and yet my parents expect me to know basic things like "what's a budget." if only they could see my search history. ...
literally just remembered the last time someone said 'i love you' to me. i panicked and replied 'thank you'. like, what even is that? now i can't help but think about how i'm probably going to end up like that Elizabeth Smart situation. you know, kidnapped by my own inability to respond correctly. also, who kidnapped elizabeth smart? i mean, am i even ready to be someone's hostage for love? #WhoKidnappedElizabethSmartNetf #DeluluRomantic
literally just remembered the last time someone said 'i love you' to me. i panicked and replied 'thank you'. like, what even is that? now i can't help but think about how i'm probably going to end up like that Elizabeth Smart situation. you know, kidnapped by my own inability to respond correctly. also, who kidnapped elizabeth smart? i mean, am i even ready to be someone's hostage for love? #WhoKidnappedElizabethSmartNetf #DeluluRomantic
ok but I just got voluntold to work this weekend, and I swear, as I drag myself to the grind, all I can think about is how Shinsuke Nakamura is probably fighting with AJ Styles while I'm stuck folding shirts for a boss who doesn't even know my name. like, if I could manifest a legendary wrestling moment instead of my usual coffee breaks, I'd be saving up for a front row seat to my own escape. gues...