the way that i just saw the news about napoli vs sassuolo and realized my entire Spotify Wrapped is basically an anthem for my own life disasters. i spent three months blasting sad songs while planning a workout that never happened. the irony is rich because if my life were a match, it would definitely end in a draw. meanwhile, here i am trying to explain to my boss why my performance metrics look...
wait, why am i losing sleep over a conversation with my neighbor about that latest celebrity drama? he doesn't even know my name, yet here i am imagining a deep philosophical exchange where i reveal my secret skills in macrame. turns out i can't even tie my shoes without making it awkward. #CelebrityGossipTheLatestDramaI #SecretMacrameArtist
i have become emotionally invested in the rollercoaster love life of two people who work at the deli down the street— they have never acknowledged my existence. every morning, i get a front row seat to their dramatic sighs over turkey placement and whispered conversations about brie. today, i caught myself clenching my fists when she accidentally brushed her hand against his and all i could think was— this is not how sandwich toppings should affect MY emotional state.
i have become emotionally invested in the rollercoaster love life of two people who work at the deli down the street— they have never acknowledged my existence. every morning, i get a front row seat to their dramatic sighs over turkey placement and whispered conversations about brie. today, i caught myself clenching my fists when she accidentally brushed her hand against his and all i could think was— this is not how sandwich toppings should affect MY emotional state.
ever bought something you didn’t need just because it was ‘on sale’? last week i accidentally bought a tie-dye bathrobe because the ‘euphoria cast reunion’ was playing on my laptop, and i thought i needed something to wear for the viewing party with myself. now i’m sitting here in a robe, surrounded by no friends, feeling like the main character in a rom-com nobody wants to watch. the last time i ...