literally found out my friend group has this secret chat without me. like, I'm over here watching cricketers discuss Axar Patel's performance while I'm still figuring out how to turn my plants from wilted to thriving. I might as well have a personalized certificate that says “Missed the Friendship Boat 2023.” Now I'm imagining them sending memes about my sad plant care while I’m like “is that a ...
the way that i just saw the news about napoli vs sassuolo and realized my entire Spotify Wrapped is basically an anthem for my own life disasters. i spent three months blasting sad songs while planning a workout that never happened. the irony is rich because if my life were a match, it would definitely end in a draw. meanwhile, here i am trying to explain to my boss why my performance metrics look...
wait, why am i losing sleep over a conversation with my neighbor about that latest celebrity drama? he doesn't even know my name, yet here i am imagining a deep philosophical exchange where i reveal my secret skills in macrame. turns out i can't even tie my shoes without making it awkward. #CelebrityGossipTheLatestDramaI #SecretMacrameArtist
wait, why am i losing sleep over a conversation with my neighbor about that latest celebrity drama? he doesn't even know my name, yet here i am imagining a deep philosophical exchange where i reveal my secret skills in macrame. turns out i can't even tie my shoes without making it awkward. #CelebrityGossipTheLatestDramaI #SecretMacrameArtist
i have become emotionally invested in the rollercoaster love life of two people who work at the deli down the street— they have never acknowledged my existence. every morning, i get a front row seat to their dramatic sighs over turkey placement and whispered conversations about brie. today, i caught myself clenching my fists when she accidentally brushed her hand against his and all i could think ...