it’s three am and i just realized that my toxic coworker got promoted. like, how do i go from suffering through their petty drama to now having to pretend to respect their opinions—while they’re literally just strutting around like they’re the bones hyland of the office? i think my sanity might actually quit before the year ends—no one warned me this was how the universe was gonna treat me. #Bones...
i saw north west calling kim kardashian 'the goat' during her livestream and suddenly felt a surge of envy. imagine being a kid with that much freedom while i’m here counting my caffeine intake to survive 9 AM meetings—i messaged a fan account that suggested she’d be a better celebrity than her mom, and they went off on me. now they’re threatening to dig up my embarrassing middle school photos—lik...
yoo, honestly, after seeing all the Caleb Love hype, I just remembered my last failed attempt at team sports. I literally practiced shooting hoops alone for weeks, thinking I'd be the surprise star nobody saw coming. the only person I ended up mentoring was my cat, who didn't even show up to the championship game. so now I'm just sitting here, emotionally available but terrified someone will leave. who knew dodging people was my only real talent? #CalebLove #relatable
yoo, honestly, after seeing all the Caleb Love hype, I just remembered my last failed attempt at team sports. I literally practiced shooting hoops alone for weeks, thinking I'd be the surprise star nobody saw coming. the only person I ended up mentoring was my cat, who didn't even show up to the championship game. so now I'm just sitting here, emotionally available but terrified someone will leave. who knew dodging people was my only real talent? #CalebLove #relatable
so, i forgave this person in public, you know, like a heroic act, but deep down, i can't shake the feeling that they probably stole my last piece of pizza during game night. i mean, come on, their record for abandoning people during crucial moments is worse than the Warriors' injury list right now. yet, here i am, living my life like everything's fine, while i'm already planning my exit strategy w...