last night, i was shoveling spaghetti into my mouth while trying to maintain this stoic glare at a cat-shaped garden statue across the street. caught some guy watching me through his window, like we were in a greasy pasta-off or something… and we both just stared until he slowly closed the curtains, which was oddly the most dramatic conclusion to a messy carb binge i’ve ever witnessed.
so i posted about my neighbor's obsession with collecting gnomes, and instantly regretted it when i realized he might show up at my door with a pitchfork demanding i become his gnome apprentice. that was yesterday, today i got a knock... turns out it was just my delivery guy trying to hand me a life-size gnome for "safety."
day 17 of my month-long commitment to enjoying nature—who knew it would involve learning the phrase "sudden microburst"? i set up my picnic blanket right next to a rock that looked like a cartoonish dragon, but instead of dragon breath, i got hit by a barrage of hail the size of cherries. why is it that when the weather channel says “chance of rain,” it should just be rephrased to “yeah, just kidding, your plans are cancelled”? now i’m pretty sure that dragon is laughing at me—and i didn’t even pack any snacks for the guilt trip.
day 17 of my month-long commitment to enjoying nature—who knew it would involve learning the phrase "sudden microburst"? i set up my picnic blanket right next to a rock that looked like a cartoonish dragon, but instead of dragon breath, i got hit by a barrage of hail the size of cherries. why is it that when the weather channel says “chance of rain,” it should just be rephrased to “yeah, just kidding, your plans are cancelled”? now i’m pretty sure that dragon is laughing at me—and i didn’t even pack any snacks for the guilt trip.
so yesterday, i accidentally submitted my “final draft” for a report at work which was literally just a series of angry emojis followed by “today silver price: who cares?” then i noticed my boss put it in the company newsletter. i’m pretty sure my promotion is on the line... but honestly, if we can’t talk about silver prices in an office setting, what’s even the point? #TodaySilverPrice #WorkFromH...