I used to think my biggest problem was picking the right series to binge. But after that news about the Zodiac Killer being connected to a dismembered actress—can you believe it? It sent me spiraling—now I can't even finish a single episode without wondering if the writer is secretly a psychopath. The real twist? I accidentally sent a deep dive into zodiac sign compatibility meant for my therapist...
i literally found out my ex started dating my friend by seeing them in a video while I was literally scrolling through cooking tutorials. like, here I am trying to perfect the art of homemade sushi and boom! there’s my ex, looking like he’s auditioning for a bad rom-com with my best friend—so now i can’t decide if i’m more annoyed at their audacity or if i need to add "obsessively judging your cho...
not gonna lie, sometimes I wonder if my sibling’s biggest life achievement was getting mom to forget I exist. I mean, they’ve got their own highlight reel. Every family dinner is just a live taping of "Let’s Praise the Golden Child" while I'm over here considering turning to a life of crime. I even tried wearing a disguise at holidays just to see if it’d make them worry about losing me, but instead I ended up getting a free slice of pie for “keeping it fun.” so now I just hang out waiting for Pete Davidson to ask me to co-star in a new commercial about family favorites, because it can't be worse than this, right? #PeteDavidson #SiblingStruggles
not gonna lie, sometimes I wonder if my sibling’s biggest life achievement was getting mom to forget I exist. I mean, they’ve got their own highlight reel. Every family dinner is just a live taping of "Let’s Praise the Golden Child" while I'm over here considering turning to a life of crime. I even tried wearing a disguise at holidays just to see if it’d make them worry about losing me, but instead I ended up getting a free slice of pie for “keeping it fun.” so now I just hang out waiting for Pete Davidson to ask me to co-star in a new commercial about family favorites, because it can't be worse than this, right? #PeteDavidson #SiblingStruggles
so, I found out my friends think I’m like a supporting character in a sitcom. I’m always the one creating dramatic plot twists for their boring lives. I guess that makes sense, considering the only time they check on me is when I accidentally post my breakfast on social media. #alwaysthebrunch #notasidelife