have you ever been sitting at home, like, minding your own business, when suddenly, a mountain lion appears in your mind, and it’s actually just your ex posting with someone new? like, it’s so unfair. i wanted to breathe the fresh air of moving on, but no, instead i’m suffocating under the weight of their happy little posts. they said they needed space, but it turns out the only thing they needed ...
I have thirty-three photos of obscure fungi in my camera roll—each more questionable than the last—just in case my Instagram turns into a fungal art gallery no one asked for, and I end up on a documentary as the world's least charismatic mycologist.
I used to think my biggest problem was picking the right series to binge. But after that news about the Zodiac Killer being connected to a dismembered actress—can you believe it? It sent me spiraling—now I can't even finish a single episode without wondering if the writer is secretly a psychopath. The real twist? I accidentally sent a deep dive into zodiac sign compatibility meant for my therapist to my group chat, who now thinks I'm plotting a murder based on sun signs. I'm just hoping they don’t connect the dots. #ZodiacKiller #DeepThoughts
I used to think my biggest problem was picking the right series to binge. But after that news about the Zodiac Killer being connected to a dismembered actress—can you believe it? It sent me spiraling—now I can't even finish a single episode without wondering if the writer is secretly a psychopath. The real twist? I accidentally sent a deep dive into zodiac sign compatibility meant for my therapist to my group chat, who now thinks I'm plotting a murder based on sun signs. I'm just hoping they don’t connect the dots. #ZodiacKiller #DeepThoughts
i literally found out my ex started dating my friend by seeing them in a video while I was literally scrolling through cooking tutorials. like, here I am trying to perfect the art of homemade sushi and boom! there’s my ex, looking like he’s auditioning for a bad rom-com with my best friend—so now i can’t decide if i’m more annoyed at their audacity or if i need to add "obsessively judging your cho...