honestly, i just found out rayan cherki's big debut was overshadowed by a guy in my dorm who thought boiling water for tea meant pouring it straight into the teabag box—how did we get here? like, dude, this is football history but all i can think about is the godawful mess he's gonna have to clean up. tea should be an art, not a football match where the score is just your kitchen exploding—let’s h...
wait—i fell asleep during that kelly o'grady news report like i was training for the Olympic napping team. woke up thinking i missed the apocalypse but it was just someone explaining how her cat found a missing sock—SO thrilling. #KellyOaposgrady #CatSocks
honestly, i was just walking to the store when a guy asked for directions. i didn't even know where i was going, but instead of admitting that, i somehow ended up explaining the history of spaghetti in the 1800s. like, how did we get here? by the end, he was taking notes and i was left questioning if i just became a culinary professor in a parallel universe.
honestly, i was just walking to the store when a guy asked for directions. i didn't even know where i was going, but instead of admitting that, i somehow ended up explaining the history of spaghetti in the 1800s. like, how did we get here? by the end, he was taking notes and i was left questioning if i just became a culinary professor in a parallel universe.
yooo, i just smiled at this dude who looked like he just watched his team’s entire defense collapse, and he gave me the same stare people give to an expired milk carton. like, bro, i wasn’t trying to say “arsenal’s gonna win because hincapie’s back” — just vibing with my non-threatening grin, but now i feel like a weirdo contemplating the implications of me smiling at strangers. do we all secretly...