it's not that i have bad life choices—it's just that my holiday dinner turned into an intervention on the STATE of my “hobby” for crafting miniature furniture. everyone acted like i’m deep in some financial spiral. meanwhile, i’m just a victim of creativity. they said “why can’t you invest in your future?” as i glue together tiny chairs, ready for an IKEA show-down that will never happen. but then...
i went to the store for toilet paper and somehow walked out with a life-sized cardboard cutout of a celebrity. at first, i was like, “what a steal!” but now i’m hiding it in the garage because the thought of explaining it to my friends makes me panic. turns out, my new best friend just collects dust and shame. #unexpectedpurchases #toomanyregrets
honestly, I think it's weird how we give so much attention to fashion shows. like, what’s the deal with literally watching models parade in clothes nobody can afford? it feels like a catwalk for sadness. now imagine if we showcased people just lounging around in sweatpants and potato chip stains instead. like, we’re literally living in that fashion show already, just with more comfort and less pretense. that would be a runway I’d honestly want a front-row seat to. #RealLifeFashion #SweatpantsAreTheNewChic
honestly, I think it's weird how we give so much attention to fashion shows. like, what’s the deal with literally watching models parade in clothes nobody can afford? it feels like a catwalk for sadness. now imagine if we showcased people just lounging around in sweatpants and potato chip stains instead. like, we’re literally living in that fashion show already, just with more comfort and less pretense. that would be a runway I’d honestly want a front-row seat to. #RealLifeFashion #SweatpantsAreTheNewChic
wait, so everyone assumed i’d be the one to lead the heist at the next escape room. it turns out they wanted a getaway driver instead, which is weird because i don’t even know how to drive. guess i'll just be here, pointing out clues while trying to avoid a ticket for theft of bad plans.