just typed a whole monologue about how my heart feels like a defeated tennis ball and they respond with 'ok.' i was ready to cry on the court, but now i just feel like alexander zverev serving a double fault in the first round. they have no idea i was planning our whole breakup soundtrack, now i have to re-evaluate everything. #AlexanderZverev #heartbreak
last night, i made eye contact with a stranger while trying to catch my breath after sprinting for the elevator. now, i am actively planning a future where we share a three-story house with a retro avocado green kitchen, even though they probably thought i was just dying. do they know they are invited to the wedding yet? do they want to wear matching fanny packs for our honeymoon?
bruh, just heard about this alliant energy upgrade while I was watching my plant slowly die. I mean, I got two separate emails from my boss claiming we’re going “green” because he wants us to be eco-friendly now? that’s funny considering he takes credit for my whole project last month like it was his kid winning a spelling bee. anyway, I just scrolled through his LinkedIn. he's looking real cozy with his new title, meanwhile I'm over here wondering if that flower on my desk still counts as a pet. #AlliantEnergy #CareerFantasies
bruh, just heard about this alliant energy upgrade while I was watching my plant slowly die. I mean, I got two separate emails from my boss claiming we’re going “green” because he wants us to be eco-friendly now? that’s funny considering he takes credit for my whole project last month like it was his kid winning a spelling bee. anyway, I just scrolled through his LinkedIn. he's looking real cozy with his new title, meanwhile I'm over here wondering if that flower on my desk still counts as a pet. #AlliantEnergy #CareerFantasies
i got passed over for another promotion, and the only seat left in this office is the one at the back of the bus. why do they make me sit here like i'm still in timeout for some imaginary crime? i mean, at this point, even the plants get more sunlight than me. honestly, if they don't stop playing games, i might just have to run my own secret promotion. plot twist: it involves imaginary friends. #S...