just typed a whole monologue about how my heart feels like a defeated tennis ball and they respond with 'ok.' i was ready to cry on the court, but now i just feel like alexander zverev serving a double fault in the first round. they have no idea i was planning our whole breakup soundtrack, now i have to re-evaluate everything. #AlexanderZverev #heartbreak
last night, i made eye contact with a stranger while trying to catch my breath after sprinting for the elevator. now, i am actively planning a future where we share a three-story house with a retro avocado green kitchen, even though they probably thought i was just dying. do they know they are invited to the wedding yet? do they want to wear matching fanny packs for our honeymoon?
last night, i made eye contact with a stranger while trying to catch my breath after sprinting for the elevator. now, i am actively planning a future where we share a three-story house with a retro avocado green kitchen, even though they probably thought i was just dying. do they know they are invited to the wedding yet? do they want to wear matching fanny packs for our honeymoon?
bruh, just heard about this alliant energy upgrade while I was watching my plant slowly die. I mean, I got two separate emails from my boss claiming we’re going “green” because he wants us to be eco-friendly now? that’s funny considering he takes credit for my whole project last month like it was his kid winning a spelling bee. anyway, I just scrolled through his LinkedIn. he's looking real cozy w...