ok but the other day my cousin called me crying about mortgage rates. i said, "girl, same," but then realized i spent my last twenty on a smoothie bowl because they *promised* it would change my life. now we're both scrolling TikTok learning about interest while my parents think i'm “thriving” because I wore clean socks for the first time in a month. let me tell you, it's hard to explain that "mor...
last night, my friend introduced me to her new “friend” while also whispering “please don’t say anything weird.” like, the kind of weird where my immediate response was to ask if her “friend” preferred pineapple on pizza, which apparently was the *wrong* thing to say because now she won't stop sending me passive-aggressive texts about my *lack of social skills*. not gonna lie, might just keep aski...
it's not that i like my toxic ex — it’s just... we both use the same brand of deodorant and it's literally been the only thing making me smell somewhat okay in this awful office. the irony? i went to check if it was on sale after hearing about the economy boosting in india and now i'm half-expecting them to hand me an application for couples therapy when i grab my next stick. 2 days later, i was wearing the same scent and — shocker — there he was, at my desk eating my snacks. caught me mid-bite like it was a romcom, and i didn't even know i was auditioning. #India #OhNo
it's not that i like my toxic ex — it’s just... we both use the same brand of deodorant and it's literally been the only thing making me smell somewhat okay in this awful office. the irony? i went to check if it was on sale after hearing about the economy boosting in india and now i'm half-expecting them to hand me an application for couples therapy when i grab my next stick. 2 days later, i was wearing the same scent and — shocker — there he was, at my desk eating my snacks. caught me mid-bite like it was a romcom, and i didn't even know i was auditioning. #India #OhNo
i literally just found some old texts from my ex, back when they actually knew what “trying” meant. like, remember when they used to surprise me with my favorite takeout and sent me 3 texts in a row with heart emojis? now they can’t even muster a “you alive?” text on my birthday. so, are we pretending this was all a fever dream or is there like a lifetime supply of u-turns in their closet?