wait, so I bought a life-sized cardboard cutout of a cat wearing a tuxedo. like, obviously I didn’t need it. but it was on sale. thirty percent off, which is basically free, right? now I’m just trying to convince myself that this suave feline is the new home decor that will transform my living room into an upscale lounge.
wait, you ever stand in a crowded elevator, literally sweating under the fluorescent lights, while nodding at people discussing the weather as if you believe it actually matters? meanwhile, your brain's plotting an escape route involving a pet llama and a hot air balloon. honestly, if I just smiled and agreed to everything, maybe I could convince them I'm a professional weather consultant, even th...
yooo, so I locked eyes with this stranger at the grocery store last week — and now I'm deep-diving into bridal magazines while avoiding my laundry like it's a haunted graveyard. I can’t even remember their name but I've already planned the reception with seven cake tiers and a DJ who specializes in animal soundtracks. honestly, what kind of breakdown am I having over a moment of accidental eye contact? still don’t even know what type of milk I need, but clearly I'm ready to say “I do” to... my existential crisis. #30Jan #weddingplanningfail
yooo, so I locked eyes with this stranger at the grocery store last week — and now I'm deep-diving into bridal magazines while avoiding my laundry like it's a haunted graveyard. I can’t even remember their name but I've already planned the reception with seven cake tiers and a DJ who specializes in animal soundtracks. honestly, what kind of breakdown am I having over a moment of accidental eye contact? still don’t even know what type of milk I need, but clearly I'm ready to say “I do” to... my existential crisis. #30Jan #weddingplanningfail
literally caught feelings for someone who straight up said they don't do relationships. so here I am, still daydreaming about a life together while pretending I’m totally fine being a glorified Netflix buddy. like, is there a support group for people addicted to emotionally unavailable humans? #miserylovescompany #hopelessromantic