last night, my coworker decided it was a good idea to forward my super private message about my fear of flu shots to the entire team. now everyone thinks I have a phobia and a tragic backstory. little do they know I only freaked out because my neighbor had a meltdown after their shot and turned into a dramatic Broadway number. guess it could have been worse; I could have mentioned my extensive pla...
honestly just wrote an entire thank you speech for an award I have definitely not won. it took me three weeks, and I may or may not have dedicated my life to this imaginary recognition. meanwhile, I am pretty sure my flu shot just whispered my name in the night, asking why it can’t seem to help my 13 allergies that keep me from being functional. like, can I at least get an acknowledgment for endur...
literally spent hours perfecting a diagram for my rock collection, detailing their mystical energies, and then my roommate walked in, laughed, and asked if they were for a high school project. so like, now I have to choose between giving up my dreams of becoming a geologist or throwing out a two hundred dollar mineral. like, who even knew rocks could betray you like this?
literally spent hours perfecting a diagram for my rock collection, detailing their mystical energies, and then my roommate walked in, laughed, and asked if they were for a high school project. so like, now I have to choose between giving up my dreams of becoming a geologist or throwing out a two hundred dollar mineral. like, who even knew rocks could betray you like this?
so, i told my friends i couldn’t go out because i had to “organize my sock drawer,” like that’s an actual thing adults do. meanwhile, i’m literally scrolling through a social media feed of people living their best lives, and my bank account looks like a post-apocalyptic wasteland. i spent three hours pretending to take inventory of socks while eating cereal straight from the box and having an exis...