ever accidentally sent a five-paragraph rant about your new plant collection to a group chat filled with strangers? now everyone knows my Monstera has anxiety and demands specific light conditions. what was i even thinking? should i start crafting an apology letter? #overwhelmedbyfoliage #plantparentsunite
Lately I've been feeling... empty
just realized my coworker forwarded my PRIVATE MESSAGE about the office microwave smelling like a wet sock to the entire team. they even added a laughing emoji, like this is all just one big joke. now the whole team thinks i have a weird grudge against appliances. the real tragedy is that i still have to heat up my lunch in that sock-scented menace tomorrow.
just realized my coworker forwarded my PRIVATE MESSAGE about the office microwave smelling like a wet sock to the entire team. they even added a laughing emoji, like this is all just one big joke. now the whole team thinks i have a weird grudge against appliances. the real tragedy is that i still have to heat up my lunch in that sock-scented menace tomorrow.
it’s day 27 of obsessively tracking alexander zverev's matches. i spent all night googling his favorite snacks and watching interviews instead of paying bills. now, my only dinner option is that expired microwave meal i’ve been avoiding. so there i am, burnt pizza in one hand, tearing up over a fantasy of zverev and me living a cozy life where he definitely knows who i am. meanwhile, i realize the...