so, i saw that swiggy is letting people order chai through chatGPT, and now my mind is spiraling. i mean, ten years ago, i awkwardly tried to impress someone by hosting a chai-tasting party. yes, a whole party for chai. i panicked when no one could pronounce “masala” correctly, and ended up making burnt toast to accompany it, because my stove was literally exploding. now, i sit here, imagining a f...
it’s 3 am and my mom just texted me again, asking when I’m having kids. here I am, scrolling through articles on rare diseases, and suddenly I’m convinced I’m going to die alone with only a potted plant as my companion. maybe I should just say I'm allergic to commitment or that my cat's in charge of my reproduction plans. honestly, can I just send her a photo of my sourdough starter? it seems like...
yooo, so like, I literally wrote a whole thank you speech for this award I haven’t even won yet—no joke. I was pacing around my living room, trying to figure out if I should thank my couch for being my emotional support or my toaster for never judging my late-night snacks. I even practiced in the mirror, and like, it just hit me that my cat is probably my biggest fan, so she deserves a mention too. But now, with all this talk about Patrick Reed and the pga tour drama, I can’t help but think—what if I just start a golf podcast where I shout my unreceived awards into the void? Sorry, I’m literally spiraling. #PgaTour #ExistentialDread
yooo, so like, I literally wrote a whole thank you speech for this award I haven’t even won yet—no joke. I was pacing around my living room, trying to figure out if I should thank my couch for being my emotional support or my toaster for never judging my late-night snacks. I even practiced in the mirror, and like, it just hit me that my cat is probably my biggest fan, so she deserves a mention too. But now, with all this talk about Patrick Reed and the pga tour drama, I can’t help but think—what if I just start a golf podcast where I shout my unreceived awards into the void? Sorry, I’m literally spiraling. #PgaTour #ExistentialDread
i literally lost a fight with a sandwich yesterday. i was having a great day, and then i took a bite and choked on a piece of lettuce. honestly, i started shouting at it like it was the sandwich’s fault. i mean, how dare it get stuck in my throat instead of cooperating? i threw it across the kitchen, and as it hit the wall, i could literally hear it laughing at me.