not gonna lie, i realized i’ve been waiting for someone to swoop in and rescue me like i’m some kind of damsel in distress, but then i remembered i don’t even own a cape, let alone know where to find one. i mean, who do i think is gonna come? the delivery guy? the neighbor who barely waves? honestly, if i ever hear “help is on the way” during my morning shower again, i might just assume it’s the u...
literally had a moment the other day—caught eyes with a stranger at a coffee shop and now I’m planning our WEDDING. honestly, how did this happen? I can barely commit to what flavor of cake I want, let alone a human being. And now I hear Jayson Tatum might return to the Celtics and I can't help but think—can we negotiate a deal where I don't have to commit but just keep him in my thoughts like the...
the way that i was invited to a backyard barbecue and immediately pictured myself just standing there, eyeing the free condiments while trying not to make awkward eye contact with the guy who always thinks his grill skills are gourmet — no because let’s be real, i can't even afford mustard right now. like, why am i imagining taking a hot dog home in my pocket, hiding it like a school lunch and regretting that very bad decision immediately?
the way that i was invited to a backyard barbecue and immediately pictured myself just standing there, eyeing the free condiments while trying not to make awkward eye contact with the guy who always thinks his grill skills are gourmet — no because let’s be real, i can't even afford mustard right now. like, why am i imagining taking a hot dog home in my pocket, hiding it like a school lunch and regretting that very bad decision immediately?
it's three a.m. and i'm sitting here binge-listening to motley crue while reflecting on how i literally became a different person for someone who still thought my eyebrows were too bushy. i got them waxed and they didn’t even notice. now i'm stuck in a job that feels like the back stage at a motley crue reunion – messy, chaotic, and nobody wants to see it. guess who’s trying to get back to the rea...