literally had a moment the other day—caught eyes with a stranger at a coffee shop and now I’m planning our WEDDING. honestly, how did this happen? I can barely commit to what flavor of cake I want, let alone a human being. And now I hear Jayson Tatum might return to the Celtics and I can't help but think—can we negotiate a deal where I don't have to commit but just keep him in my thoughts like the...
the way that i was invited to a backyard barbecue and immediately pictured myself just standing there, eyeing the free condiments while trying not to make awkward eye contact with the guy who always thinks his grill skills are gourmet — no because let’s be real, i can't even afford mustard right now. like, why am i imagining taking a hot dog home in my pocket, hiding it like a school lunch and reg...
it's three a.m. and i'm sitting here binge-listening to motley crue while reflecting on how i literally became a different person for someone who still thought my eyebrows were too bushy. i got them waxed and they didn’t even notice. now i'm stuck in a job that feels like the back stage at a motley crue reunion – messy, chaotic, and nobody wants to see it. guess who’s trying to get back to the real me? might as well start a band called “The Regrets” while i’m at it. #MotleyCrue #Relatable
it's three a.m. and i'm sitting here binge-listening to motley crue while reflecting on how i literally became a different person for someone who still thought my eyebrows were too bushy. i got them waxed and they didn’t even notice. now i'm stuck in a job that feels like the back stage at a motley crue reunion – messy, chaotic, and nobody wants to see it. guess who’s trying to get back to the real me? might as well start a band called “The Regrets” while i’m at it. #MotleyCrue #Relatable
it’s 2am and i just remembered i invited my neighbor to an impromptu “self-care” spa day, but my version involves me sitting in a robe, scrolling through reality TV like it’s gospel. halfway through, i realized she was more into essential oils while i was more into MY seventh donut and how do you even blend those vibes without raising suspicions? anyway, now i’m hiding from her in the kitchen and ...