so, i heard about the layoffs at Amazon, and suddenly realized that even my existential crisis is not immune to corporate downsizing. imagine spending all these years pretending to love spreadsheets when deep down, i just want to be a circus clown in Paris. but now, as they trim the fat, i'm contemplating if it’s time to turn my impersonation skills into a freelance gig. guess i’ll just add “unemp...
you know what’s crazy? i just accidentally liked a random photo of a stranger’s ceramic collection from two years ago. now i’m convinced i’ve somehow revealed my inner desire to be a pottery wheel goddess and also turned them into my official PR team, completely setting off a spiral of weekly unprovoked messages about the nuanced shade of blue in their favorite mug.
it's 3am and i'm huddled under my old comforter, scrolling through the news. apparently, disney world is about to freeze over. honestly, that's just typical of my life, isn't it? i mean, who needs warmth and happiness when you can watch your life feel like a cold theme park? every time i think i'm on the ride to happiness, the roller coaster just jolts me back down to disappointment. just like waiting in line for a ride that’s closed...which is just like my dating life. i guess at least the ice sculptures will match the chill of my non-existent love life. #DisneyWorldWeather #SingleLife
it's 3am and i'm huddled under my old comforter, scrolling through the news. apparently, disney world is about to freeze over. honestly, that's just typical of my life, isn't it? i mean, who needs warmth and happiness when you can watch your life feel like a cold theme park? every time i think i'm on the ride to happiness, the roller coaster just jolts me back down to disappointment. just like waiting in line for a ride that’s closed...which is just like my dating life. i guess at least the ice sculptures will match the chill of my non-existent love life. #DisneyWorldWeather #SingleLife
it's not that I’m bad at time management. it's just… I genuinely believe I can will the universe to bend to my schedule. I was at this holiday dinner, you know, when the turkey got dry and my aunt started to look at me like I’m an unfinished puzzle piece. and suddenly, everyone is talking about my *issues*… like how I packed my suitcase for a two-day trip as if I’m going on a one-way flight to Nar...