today i just realized that ive been waiting for someone to swoop in and save me, like it’s some kind of telenovela moment, and here i am, scrolling through the lineup for the Vasco vs Bahia game like it’ll distract me from my own mess. why does it feel like every time i cheer for something, it ends up as chaotic as my laundry piling up in the corner, nobody coming to fold it but me? maybe instead ...
it’s not that i envy the bulls or the celtics. it’s just that they have camaraderie, a purpose. i watch the games, feel more disconnected from my own friends who barely text back. they are busy thriving, while i’m just overthinking what it means when your circle shrinks to a point where nobody calls, nobody cares. sometimes i think about how easily friendships faded. and it stings, knowing even th...
it’s not that i’m obsessed. it’s just that sometimes i find myself scrolling through old blog posts about people’s lives, you know? then, before i realize it, i like a post from five years ago and panic sets in like a storm. like, do they know i’m lurking? should i pretend it was an accident? or maybe… just maybe, they need to remember that they mattered once, even if it was just for me to feel less alone in my quiet room.
it’s not that i’m obsessed. it’s just that sometimes i find myself scrolling through old blog posts about people’s lives, you know? then, before i realize it, i like a post from five years ago and panic sets in like a storm. like, do they know i’m lurking? should i pretend it was an accident? or maybe… just maybe, they need to remember that they mattered once, even if it was just for me to feel less alone in my quiet room.
last night, i realized that even as i scroll through countless friends on my phone, literally no one would answer if i called for help. like, i could disappear and they'd be too caught up in their own lives to notice. it’s wild how i know the line-ups for "vasco vs bahia" better than i know what my neighbors are up to, and honestly, that feels sadder than losing a game. #VascoVsBahia #lonelyhearts