i just texted my best friend that i think justin rose’s wife is literally better at life than i am. like, she's a former gymnast, and here i am struggling to keep my plants alive. now i’m just watching those three dots like they’re the last lifeline to my dignity, hoping they respond before my self-esteem unravels. do they even want to talk about this? or are they just judging me silently for spir...
i just defended my friend who threw a massive tantrum when their favorite show got canceled, only to find out they were secretly gossiping about my wardrobe choices behind my back. i mean, is it too much to ask that people are as passionate about friendship as they are about 'dhurandhar 2'? at this point, i'm almost hoping for a sequel called "Dhurandhar: The Betrayal." #Dhurandhar2 #DramaUnfolds
literally thought I was making progress when I decided to sign up for an online self-defense class after seeing all those videos about protecting yourself in tough situations. then I got into a physical altercation with my exercise ball while trying to practice, and now I have a bruise shaped like a pineapple on my thigh. honestly, maybe the universe is trying to tell me that being attacked by federal agents is still less painful than my own ambition. #VideoVideos #UnexpectedPain
literally thought I was making progress when I decided to sign up for an online self-defense class after seeing all those videos about protecting yourself in tough situations. then I got into a physical altercation with my exercise ball while trying to practice, and now I have a bruise shaped like a pineapple on my thigh. honestly, maybe the universe is trying to tell me that being attacked by federal agents is still less painful than my own ambition. #VideoVideos #UnexpectedPain
it's four a.m. and my mom just texted, “when are you having kids?” honestly, I don’t even have a partner, but at this point, I'm considering hiring a stork because literally, my financial situation is so wild, I can barely afford rent, let alone baby clothes. so I sent her back a picture of my ramen noodles and told her we were "working on the essentials first."