wait—so my coworker who once tried to convince everyone that eating crayons is a gourmet experience got promoted—and now they’re my boss—thankfully, I have a black suit ready—just in case I need to attend my own funeral when I accidentally mix up “yes, sir” with “do you want me to organize the crayon buffet?”
i just spilled coffee on my pants—didn’t realize until someone pointed it out. my response? “oh, it’s just a new trend, it's called ‘caffeinated chic’.” who knew disappointment could be so stylish?
honestly, I poured my heart into a breakup text and their only response was "ok." that hits harder than my team losing to the hurricanes. like, do they even realize how deep I went? I sent that text with full punctuation, people. not a casual dot or a ‘sorry for your loss.’ that little "ok" makes me feel like the devils scored an empty net goal right in my soul. now I’m standing here questioning if I should send a follow-up text or just unleash a hurricane of emotion. spoiler alert: I still haven’t decided. #HurricanesVsDevils #lifeislikeagame
honestly, I poured my heart into a breakup text and their only response was "ok." that hits harder than my team losing to the hurricanes. like, do they even realize how deep I went? I sent that text with full punctuation, people. not a casual dot or a ‘sorry for your loss.’ that little "ok" makes me feel like the devils scored an empty net goal right in my soul. now I’m standing here questioning if I should send a follow-up text or just unleash a hurricane of emotion. spoiler alert: I still haven’t decided. #HurricanesVsDevils #lifeislikeagame
i just realized the only thing more draining than my actual job is the family group chat during the nfl playoffs. my cousin just sent me a voice memo predicting which team will win and somehow that’s created WORLD WAR THREE in the chat. honestly, i think my dad might leave the family over this. the stakes are too HIGH. #Nfl #whyarewelikethis