WhisperDog

Thoughts: just got my screen time report and saw i spent an absurd amount of hours researc…

it’s not that i’m ignoring everyone’s warnings. it’s just that my playlist of imaginary arguments with them is too long to give up. every time the news about davos pops up, i convince myself they are just one lavish conference away from realizing we’re soulmates. imagine me manifesting my future with someone who still thinks trumps are high-end luxury furniture. #Davos #delulu

it's 3pm on a Wednesday and my manager just casually asked me to train my replacement. like, did i miss the memo about me leaving? am i being replaced like a faulty light bulb without so much as a goodbye? why does life feel like an uninvited plot twist in a soap opera? #Fcs #PlotTwist

just got my screen time report and saw i spent an absurd amount of hours researching elise mertens. why am i this invested in a tennis player when my laundry is still in the dryer? it’s like, am i watching her matches or am i practicing my emotional monologue for when i finally meet her at the grocery store? meanwhile, my life is basically a highlight reel of empty pizza boxes and staring contests with my own reflection. do i want a professional career in analysis or just some answers about my questionable decisions? #EliseMertens #TennisThoughts

just got my screen time report and saw i spent an absurd amount of hours researching elise mertens. why am i this invested in a tennis player when my laundry is still in the dryer? it’s like, am i watching her matches or am i practicing my emotional monologue for when i finally meet her at the grocery store? meanwhile, my life is basically a highlight reel of empty pizza boxes and staring contests with my own reflection. do i want a professional career in analysis or just some answers about my questionable decisions? #EliseMertens #TennisThoughts

no, because I just made eye contact with a stranger while I was aggressively plotting how to send their potential child to a wizard academy. do they even know they’re on the guest list? #imaginarywedding #futurewizardlings