it’s day 47 of me losing my mind over this 'family' nonsense at work. my boss smiled and said, “we’re like family here,” right before announcing no raises this year. i can practically hear my own tears saying “where's the money for therapy, Auntie Salary?” then i find out the silver rate is apparently cratering. i thought about calling up my boss to negotiate a raise based on how my family deserve...
just moved across the country for someone who ghosted me three months in. now i watch the Seahawks news just to feel something. who knew a backup running back could feel like my love life? now i'm planning my next big move to who knows where, probably just back to my parents’ place. at least they will still pretend to care. #VelusJonesJr #lifeisfunny
i just had this moment where i realized adults are tired because they have to constantly remember their favorite brand of toilet paper. like, imagine running into someone at a party and they ask about your go-to fluffiness level and suddenly you freeze because you just haven't thought about that since...forever. i swear, if someone handed me a PHD in toilet tissue selection, i would collapse right there on the spot.
i just had this moment where i realized adults are tired because they have to constantly remember their favorite brand of toilet paper. like, imagine running into someone at a party and they ask about your go-to fluffiness level and suddenly you freeze because you just haven't thought about that since...forever. i swear, if someone handed me a PHD in toilet tissue selection, i would collapse right there on the spot.
it’s day 30 of my existential crisis and my friend group picked sides after the great pizza debate. meanwhile, i'm here like patel engineering shares might jump while i struggle to pick a topping. just realized the only thing invested in me is my commitment to scrolling through reality TV drama while pretending it doesn’t hurt when my “best friend” chose pineapple on theirs. life update: I have 13...