do you ever wonder if people actually like you, or just the colorful sock puppet version you show them? like, honestly, I walked into a conversation about astrology, and I suddenly realized that if I literally recited my grocery list with a cosmic twist, they would applaud me. at this point, I could start wearing capes and calling myself “the mystical cabbage oracle” and they might still want my n...
last night, I literally spent two hours negotiating with my bathroom scale, trying to convince it that my weight is just an illusion. like, “it’s the clothes, it’s the time of day,” but it just stared back at me, judging. guess who just got uninvited to my next self-care day? #selflove #scalesuck
not gonna lie, I literally crafted an entire backstory for the lady who sits next to me on the bus. she’s definitely a former champion in underwater basket weaving and spends her weekends organizing rescue missions for misplaced garden gnomes. I mean, honestly, how else do you explain her choice of neon blue Crocs paired with that ancient Hawaiian print dress?
not gonna lie, I literally crafted an entire backstory for the lady who sits next to me on the bus. she’s definitely a former champion in underwater basket weaving and spends her weekends organizing rescue missions for misplaced garden gnomes. I mean, honestly, how else do you explain her choice of neon blue Crocs paired with that ancient Hawaiian print dress?
have you ever caught yourself googling what kind of chili powder is best for home canning? like, why am i planning to out-mom my mom with canning tips? meanwhile, my parents don’t even remember how to boil water without calling me for instructions. so here i am, conjuring imaginary rivalries with home and garden influencers who have NO IDEA i exist, all while obsessively reading “the best recipes ...