so there i was, quietly Googling "how to cope with your toxic coworker being your boss," and what pops up? something about energy relief from Ameren. i was literally scrolling while they were giving me THAT LOOK like they were my life coach. suddenly, i thought, “do i need relief from energy bills, or my BOSS?” life is so wild. #Ameren #toxicboss
not gonna lie, I just spent the last three days staring at my fridge, hoping it would magically fill with food. like, I literally thought the carrots were judging me for their own unfortunate existence. so, here I am, waiting for my paycheck to drop like it’s the highlight of my month, while I'm snacking on expired mustard and just trying to remember what a real meal tastes like. honestly, my new ...
it's not that i can't clean up, it's just that my parents showed up out of nowhere and the first thing they see is my 47 failed plants and an unmade bed that looks like a war zone—i swear if they open my fridge and see the three jars of half-eaten salsa and expired condiments, i might actually tell them i live in a walton goggins episode, where every plot twist involves deep existential crisis over missing salad dressing. #WaltonGoggins #LifeChoices
it's not that i can't clean up, it's just that my parents showed up out of nowhere and the first thing they see is my 47 failed plants and an unmade bed that looks like a war zone—i swear if they open my fridge and see the three jars of half-eaten salsa and expired condiments, i might actually tell them i live in a walton goggins episode, where every plot twist involves deep existential crisis over missing salad dressing. #WaltonGoggins #LifeChoices
wait, just realized I have a subscription to a magazine I never read. but it comes with a "free gift." it’s a mystery box I’ve been manifesting. like maybe one day it’ll be my whole life in there, and—wait, what if it’s just socks?