not gonna lie, I texted my friends I couldn’t come out because I had “a prior engagement.” in reality, I was deep cleaning my fridge and almost fell into it. who knew an old jar of pickles could send me spiraling? turns out, “prior engagement” really means “prior commitments to not buy more instant ramen.” I just pretended I had a packed schedule of things to avoid. #socialanxiety #adultingfail
just found out the hockey qualifiers are happening in my hometown. great, right? meanwhile, my parents are using me as a mediator in their divorce, like i’m some kind of referee in a love game. last night, they argued about who gets the couch while i’m desperately trying to look up the qualifiers schedule so i can make a break for it. just as i’m about to suggest a family meeting with snacks to co...
not gonna lie, my camera roll is a chaos of unexplainable photos. like, do I really need twenty-seven pictures of an empty conference room and three shots of a cactus I named Gerald? each one feels like evidence in a trial I didn’t even agree to attend—one moment I’m practicing “talent acquisition” like I’m auditioning for a sitcom, the next I’m convinced Gerald will land a job in my place. what am I doing—lowkey building a resume for a cactus? if my potential boss sees these, they might ask if I’m a plant whisperer or just completely delusional. #TalentAcquisition #WhyAmILikeThis
not gonna lie, my camera roll is a chaos of unexplainable photos. like, do I really need twenty-seven pictures of an empty conference room and three shots of a cactus I named Gerald? each one feels like evidence in a trial I didn’t even agree to attend—one moment I’m practicing “talent acquisition” like I’m auditioning for a sitcom, the next I’m convinced Gerald will land a job in my place. what am I doing—lowkey building a resume for a cactus? if my potential boss sees these, they might ask if I’m a plant whisperer or just completely delusional. #TalentAcquisition #WhyAmILikeThis
ever walked into your own disaster zone and thought, this is not who i am? my parents just showed up unannounced and now they know i eat cereal out of a mixing bowl, just to avoid doing dishes. they made eye contact with my stack of dirty laundry, and i’m pretty sure my mom’s eyes silently judged the choices that led me to using a pizza box as a coffee table. #adultingfail #unexpectedvisitors