just found out the hockey qualifiers are happening in my hometown. great, right? meanwhile, my parents are using me as a mediator in their divorce, like i’m some kind of referee in a love game. last night, they argued about who gets the couch while i’m desperately trying to look up the qualifiers schedule so i can make a break for it. just as i’m about to suggest a family meeting with snacks to co...
not gonna lie, my camera roll is a chaos of unexplainable photos. like, do I really need twenty-seven pictures of an empty conference room and three shots of a cactus I named Gerald? each one feels like evidence in a trial I didn’t even agree to attend—one moment I’m practicing “talent acquisition” like I’m auditioning for a sitcom, the next I’m convinced Gerald will land a job in my place. what a...
ever walked into your own disaster zone and thought, this is not who i am? my parents just showed up unannounced and now they know i eat cereal out of a mixing bowl, just to avoid doing dishes. they made eye contact with my stack of dirty laundry, and i’m pretty sure my mom’s eyes silently judged the choices that led me to using a pizza box as a coffee table. #adultingfail #unexpectedvisitors
ever walked into your own disaster zone and thought, this is not who i am? my parents just showed up unannounced and now they know i eat cereal out of a mixing bowl, just to avoid doing dishes. they made eye contact with my stack of dirty laundry, and i’m pretty sure my mom’s eyes silently judged the choices that led me to using a pizza box as a coffee table. #adultingfail #unexpectedvisitors
the way that i suddenly found myself mediating my parents' divorce over a discussion about who gets the last packet of spicy ramen was just... iconic. no one prepared me for negotiating between two adults acting like toddlers over noodles. like, i should not be suggesting custody arrangements for a shelf of instant meals. i feel like a divorced parent myself now, except my biggest concern is if my...