literally just found out my position was posted online and now i'm picturing the company holding a gold rush while i sit here like a piece of old jewelry nobody wants. i'm honestly crafting a revenge plan that involves changing my profile picture to me holding an empty cup at my desk like, ‘this is me on my last day’ as they all look for candidates who will treat the role like a shiny new treasure...
wait, just spent half the afternoon rehearsing how i would respond if my boss finally recognized my hard work. i practiced sounding humble while secretly visualizing my dramatic walkout like i was in a movie. then i saw the news about Will Levis’ ex-girlfriend getting all the attention for a bikini pic, and it hit me. my fantasy is about as likely as me receiving a raise while simultaneously tryin...
day 3 of attempting to bake a cake, and my phone lit up with that message: "you really think they would go for someone like you?" instinctively, i typed a fiery reply detailing all the glorious things about me. you know, just in case they might consider it. then, instead of sending it to my best friend, i accidentally sent it to... them. now i'm left wondering if they think i'm a motivational speaker or just completely delusional. #Rybakina #CakeDisaster
day 3 of attempting to bake a cake, and my phone lit up with that message: "you really think they would go for someone like you?" instinctively, i typed a fiery reply detailing all the glorious things about me. you know, just in case they might consider it. then, instead of sending it to my best friend, i accidentally sent it to... them. now i'm left wondering if they think i'm a motivational speaker or just completely delusional. #Rybakina #CakeDisaster
i just blurted out that i used to collect napkins from restaurants for a scrapbook and now i can't stop picturing their judging faces. like, who actually needs an entire album dedicated to damp paper? was it my decision-making skills? or the urge to have a legacy in unused cutlery? sorry to everyone who has to live with this information now. #napkinart #selfreport