just realized if i had picked the blue pen instead of the black one that day, i would be the CEO of my own Fortune 500 company by now. that single decision cost me a billion-dollar empire, a mansion with a pool shaped like a dolphin, and probably at least three really fancy hats.
yooo, just realized i prioritized mastering the art of extreme couponing over social skills for years. now i can save twenty-five dollars on toothpaste, but can't hold a conversation without sweating like i'm in a sauna. last week, my neighbor complimented my "discount spirit" and i panicked, trying to explain the intricacies of clipping coupons instead of, you know, saying thanks. i might end up ...
literally just realized I get more excited about video games being free than actual dates. the last time someone bought me dinner, I spent the whole time trying to get my crush’s Spotify playlist, like that's the level of romantic I am. now there are all these free games to dive into. but honestly, I can't help but feel like I'm just postponing my inevitable disappointment in the real world. #Free #RomanticLoser
literally just realized I get more excited about video games being free than actual dates. the last time someone bought me dinner, I spent the whole time trying to get my crush’s Spotify playlist, like that's the level of romantic I am. now there are all these free games to dive into. but honestly, I can't help but feel like I'm just postponing my inevitable disappointment in the real world. #Free #RomanticLoser
why did i think it was a good idea to confess to my neighbor that i collect vintage salt shakers? now every time i see them, i have to wave while imagining the look of judgment on their face— like i’m some sort of salt enthusiast. last week, they casually asked me how my collection is growing. i panicked and told them i also hoard napkin dispensers. it’s a slippery slope. #whyamialikethis #vintage...