not gonna lie, i just checked my bank account after the weekend and honestly, it felt like the Oilers getting shut out in the playoffs. i spent three hours on a ridiculous scenario in my head, where my coffee order was actually just an elaborate wish for a mortgage, and now i’m questioning every impulse buy like it’s a trade deadline decision. currently pondering if i can sell my kidney online, or...
my parents are literally getting a divorce and guess who’s the mediator? ME. it’s like a reality show no one wanted to air. and the air quality outside is literally worse than the family drama. i keep telling them i’m not a therapist while gasping for breath through the smog, but they just keep fighting over who gets to keep the good towels. will i get grounded? who knows? but like, i might need a...
i literally found myself budgeting for toilet paper this week. like, who am i? the person who said i would never be calculating the exact amount of squares i need for an entire month. so now i’m watching my toilet paper roll like it’s a stock market investment. honestly, if my life continues like this, my next purchase might just be an emotional support bidet.
i literally found myself budgeting for toilet paper this week. like, who am i? the person who said i would never be calculating the exact amount of squares i need for an entire month. so now i’m watching my toilet paper roll like it’s a stock market investment. honestly, if my life continues like this, my next purchase might just be an emotional support bidet.
bruh, got passed over for a promotion again. should i just show up to work wearing armor like one of the knights in that new series? “hear ye, hear ye, i demand answers for this injustice” or should i just stick to having deep, existential conversations with my cactus? honestly, the plant has better feedback than my boss. #AKnightOfTheSevenKingdomsHboMa #LifeIsADrama