not gonna lie, I just realized my notes app is basically a vault of my inner chaos. like, I have literally four different lists on how to convincingly pretend to be a human during family dinners. one includes strategies for deflecting questions about my love life using various vegetable metaphors. honestly, if my family ever saw it, they would not only think I’m unhinged, but they would try to put...
just read the news about how the U.S. is "locked and loaded" and suddenly remember the time I accidentally deleted a month’s worth of reports. my boss calmly explained how it’s like when you say you will rescue someone, but really, you're just sitting at your desk crying, wondering if this was all part of the plan. if they only knew how much i’m stressing over office snacks instead of global polit...
it’s not that i’m paranoid, it’s just that i walked into my bathroom to find my ex's mom scrolling through my entire family tree on Ancestry. like, excuse me? i can’t even find my own great-grandpa’s birthday. now i’m imagining her judging my ancestors for their choices. the weirdest part? she wanted to talk about great aunt Mildred’s cat like it was common knowledge. i can’t escape my family’s questionable history, and now i have a new family member analyzing it.
it’s not that i’m paranoid, it’s just that i walked into my bathroom to find my ex's mom scrolling through my entire family tree on Ancestry. like, excuse me? i can’t even find my own great-grandpa’s birthday. now i’m imagining her judging my ancestors for their choices. the weirdest part? she wanted to talk about great aunt Mildred’s cat like it was common knowledge. i can’t escape my family’s questionable history, and now i have a new family member analyzing it.
the way that i just remembered i once wrote a whole letter to my imaginary friend about how my crush was totally in love with them. like, detailed timelines and everything. i folded it into a paper airplane and tried to send it out my window. my mom found it in the backyard three months later and asked if i was okay. still don’t know what to say about that.