the way that i casually checked my bank account and found i’ve spent an outrageous amount on subscriptions that i don’t even remember signing up for—like who am i kidding? the only T20 match i'm getting a kick out of is the one where i watch my money run for cover. now every time i see maaz sadaqat in the news, all i can think is, great, another expense i can't afford—seriously considering a subsc...
wait—so my gym buddy decided to text me at 3am to rant about the winter storm and how we're definitely gonna get snowed in, right? meanwhile, I'm over here Googling “how to bake a cake with expired eggs” because who knew my late-night snack ambitions could lead to culinary horror—now I can't stop thinking about that time I baked a banana bread that turned into a brick. if the Skyway closes tomorro...
the way that my situationship just casually introduced me to someone as 'a friend' at that party when my internal monologue was like "wait, are we even friends, or was i just the back-up plan until he found someone better," but now I’m over here wondering if i need to stage my own shaun white revenge vacation to reclaim my dignity because how are we really friends if he’s letting me look like the sad leftover pizza no one ordered while he parades around like the hot appetizer everyone’s digging into and now i can’t even eat carbs without feeling some type of way about it. #ShaunWhite #emotionaleating
the way that my situationship just casually introduced me to someone as 'a friend' at that party when my internal monologue was like "wait, are we even friends, or was i just the back-up plan until he found someone better," but now I’m over here wondering if i need to stage my own shaun white revenge vacation to reclaim my dignity because how are we really friends if he’s letting me look like the sad leftover pizza no one ordered while he parades around like the hot appetizer everyone’s digging into and now i can’t even eat carbs without feeling some type of way about it. #ShaunWhite #emotionaleating
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